Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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