It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
