12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
