I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
