I CAN MOONWALK!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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