I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
