Say something about gay babies.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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