my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
