Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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