Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
