false alarm. still invincible.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
