Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
