Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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