Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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