I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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