You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
how does that bad decision feel?
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