i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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