hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
