There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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