ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
