I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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