using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it hurts more in the daytime
i just sent this text using only my big toe
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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