bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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