oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You made out with two different species that night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
