I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
