Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
