just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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