I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
