what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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