You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
