Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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