Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
