So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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