and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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