every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize