She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize