Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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