with your own penis?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
