Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
