You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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