so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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