One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ttyl tear gas
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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