Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
