I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's official drugs can't kill me
Let's paint friendship bongs
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
