it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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