My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How does one acquire holy water?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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