also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
