And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
