Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
