the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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