so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
