I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
