i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
