So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
