she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
