it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
