This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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