I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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