last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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