Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
