Apparently you make a good broom.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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