ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
